YEAR OF THE 1

Its the damndest year ever man! Or maybe its just my grape fruit that's just overly charged for the fantastical. Or it could be my obsession with the Invisibles, or its just the number that grabs my attention.

"This day" will never happen again...after "This year", which, will never happen again. With few events that can indefinitely be checked off from its catalog, not such a bad thing.

The in-country fires, flash floods all across the countrysides, freak accidents on highways (of buses senselessly overloaded and Mahindra Boleros squeezed very concentration camp-like. And a very incredible denouement - EARTHQUAKE, which left behind- unprecedented damages and mental trauma. Those in the international were very international (of course i don't mean that in a good way).

Then again, the year did have its good moments. Events and moments that could make entry into "My finest Hour". Skipping the about-to-be narrated monologue on the finest hour;there were few things that made the year an auspicious occasion;

OUR KING finally tied the knot, and the big event was really big. It did jerk a chain inside me too.. I'm not the sentimental type, but heck,.. must have been the air around me. Everyone chanting it so religiously. I didn't sign any books which conveyed colorful greetings and i didn't get into all that SMS-wishing business. (Between you and me,.. Penny-pinching-gimmicks!).

I did say a silent prayer and make a sincere wish for the BRILLIANT COUPLE and the COUNTRY.

The BUDDHA's bones (that's what they are right?) came to Bhutan all the way from India. I didn't even know there was a relic inside, I thought people were supposed to just prostrate at the the three diamond shaped glass dolls, wrapped in silk.

Well, you can't blame me, or any of the members of the population who didn't really see it for what it was. For one,.. we were all (yee-haa!)-ed like cattle driven to their shelter.

Among other things, this year, I made friends, good friends...I consider it an impossible feat to achieve, that is - meeting good friends after school and college. After that long hiatus in sincerity, honesty and Innocence all minds grow calculative, everybody knows their way and what is easily accomplished possessive of genuine minds is nothing short of supernatural to replicate in a very contradictory atmosphere.

They don't tag it "the Midas touch," for kicks, you know?

This year, I declare myself as someone who has all the makings of a cold-blooded serial killer because I have successfully operated a few.

Now there's a shocker... even for myself (I'm kidding!) I will honestly make a confession here though. People who proclaim to and pretend to have your best interests are those, who actually want your best "interests."

Sala Truck Driver,..God Damned Monkey... I'm out of bile reenacting the bad and ugly of it.

All said... not thoroughly done though (cold December still hollering) it's over! THE YEAR OF 1.

wonder where i was? on 1.1.11 .. 1.11.11

.. on .. 11.1.11 & 11.11.11

This blog was posted on 111111

MY FEEBLENESS.. IN OUR MISUNDERSTANDING (or the other way 'round)

So for the record, and maybe, for the eternally reminded time the 

trees are swaying in the distant mountains to propagate how pre-destined our foregone days were. And add glorious sarcasm to our injuries - We still drive on the same chartered route, riding shotgun with F-A-T-E.

I strongly believe, the same high-powered inferno still burns somewhere, inside a corner of us, and for that, inside all of me. Those days the wind would have felt like it was blowing, well,.. only 'cause its the wind but it will be howling only when you want it to. That's because we were living the days of immortality. The seasons' joys or its torments were just the passing of a dull year or an excessively eventful one.

 And when we've actually reached a stone where we would like to carve an indelibly permanent mark, we're too overwhelmed by every piss-ant agent of destiny which pop up in the path (tsk.. tsk..). How did the rider lose the horse?

Its a good question, It is also the one that I will not answer (maybe for the reason that i don't have one).

Enough grace is showered on us if we do observe with the lens of gratitude but after even the first small splinter that sprung on the path, we are burning a nuclear reactor. But really! So what if we did!

We've done nothing to deserve cold steel or a pointy heel...

Things always change to our disliking and they haven't been any different with moi.

We now understand, its a gracious submission to something only greater than ourselves in ways that can only be imagined; well its also the way of the world and I am in it. But it was a different story back then when we bared chest to howling winters or pouring summers.

We were YOUNG & (we felt) IMMORTAL! (have to admit though those were quite the stupid times too:-)

We are obstinate that we get to walk our own way, but now we stagger on everybody else's beaten path. Still I am very far from ashamed. I am worn-out though and without argument - done! countering the wall.

Now, I live and transact golden air and the life I live is brilliant. What changed is... I have my secret ingredient (singularly SHE) in MY LIFE.

By 'we,' I mean 'me,' as in me, myself and I.

KILL YOU TILL YOU DIE FROM IT

OFTEN TIMES, I GET THAT SINKING FEELING, THAT FAMILIAR CHILL WHICH VERY MUCH SAYS IT'S NAME.

Funny thing though, the most dire of circumstances will flash its name red and bold.. and sometimes I'm just sitting crossed-legged in a constricted space and a miscalculated movement grinds the boys down under to friction and i'm yelping with deathly pain (out loud to decibels when no one's around.and silently when at a conference or among people).


My point is, the most silliest of situations could end up taking us so close to death. And since we are all going to hell, that's where I must be headed.


I like being angry.. I don't want to give up my rage. I would always want to retain the ability to hate.. it keeps me wary (esp. of a certain spineless-Machiavellian-monkey and a truck-driver-turned-company manager). I have unending potential to love, to understand it, to give and to treasure it. BUT Buddha said.. that is also off the reservations if one desires the holy lights and sounds and a confirmed heavenly after-life. Well I say !!!That's BIG BULL!!!


Unless the Big Dude up there gives me a glimpse of the b-side, what benefits I'll be reaping for my a-plus behavior or what hellish-spanking I'm about to endure for being a man, I will always be myself. I will always look at life with an eye for sense appeal.


Well I'll go out on a leg here and say the rest of the population resonates that with a HELL YEAH!


WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL. period!

Now make no arguments on that, because you know that's the absolute truth.

Personally speaking, the few minutes that we shut our eyes, trying to find god will not be enough for the long haul. And you can damned-well be sure, it wont be a clean slate that we'll be holding while queuing up at the pearly gates.Same goes for me of course, and by all means!!


So,... Save a few lives.. if you can and just LIVE LIFE, let others live.  party on, party hard... go down kicking!!